NaPoWriMo Día 15: A Scene From Child-hood

April 15, 2012

A Scene From Child-hood

Shots ring out past
the playground,
unzipping the air.

A block away, blood flows
down the sidewalk cracks
as the rats run out
to lick their
reddened creek.

With bloated bellies
they scurry
‘neath the
nearby cemetery’s mulberry.

Behind blue and black-belted men
and their blaring
two-way radios,

little bouncing heads,
like tied balloons,
the color of mud, of deadened
clay, of soot,
sway and totter
with bloated minds
that hurry


to adjust
into the frame
of a rolling camera.

© PAZ 2012

So I was just reading about this month being NaPoWriMo ( on one of the blogs I came across. I don’t even remember which one now. It’s like the NaNoWriMo in November. Basically, you write a poem a day for the entire month. Anyway, after reading about it, I wrote this today. Not sure if I’d do the challenge though I’m interested–we’ll see. It’s half way over with by now.

But if I do, this’ll be the first of the lot.

11 Responses to “NaPoWriMo Día 15: A Scene From Child-hood”

  1. 2 more drive-bys last month very close to home in Miami last month.
    Gunshots rule the night in some areas. Unfortunately they don’t use cameras.

    • PAZ said

      See, there was a cemetery right next to the apartments where I lived then, and the cameras were from the reporters, etc. I realize now the poem is a bit vague.

      And I’ve been to Miami several times but haven’t stayed more than a day so I feel like I have yet to really get to know the city.

      It really is unfortunate about places like that, and about the recent shootings near your area.

  2. fantasic, so much imagery with so few words. gritty and elegant at the same time. This could be a nice niche for you, urban grit in poetry – don’t know if anyone has covered this yet – not a big poetry reader so forgive my ignorance. But if not, you have a good skill for it! Glad I stopped by to read it!

    • PAZ said

      Thank you so much! I’m thrilled that you like it! I’m also really surprised.

      I’m not sure what I’d be good at, or what would be my nitch though. I’m just writing to grow and see where I go right now, but I’m not going to lie, I’ve thought about niches.

      I really like your suggestion and you know, I do tend to go for the gritty more than not. I love gritty, dark poetry. It just flows with me I guess. So I’ll consider what you said…

      You should look up early twentieth century poetry movement, kind of around Dada. It’s so dark, gritty and mirrors the turbulent political atmosphere of their time.

      Really like your blog by the way. I’m really picky with horror movies–tend to gravitate to the older ones, mostly. And I still have so many horror authors to read.

  3. Spider42 said

    An interesting poem – though I freely admit I’m more partial to traditional rhyme and meter in poetry. You have a good sense of creating images poetically and (in this case) starkly which is a critical part of really effective poetry I feel.
    That said though, I must admit I was a little at sea regarding what this poem’s meaning was for a brief moment at first until it struck me!
    Thanks for visiting my blog, so glad you liked what you saw there – always nice to see a new face.

    • PAZ said

      I appreciate your insightful input. I have a lot of respect and admiration for traditional rhyme and meter schemes–it can be extremely difficult to pull off such structured verses. It takes a lot of refined skill and talent to write like that. But then again, I feel a bit of redundancy in some of it–in their overly repetitive, expected rhythm– sometimes, not much. I love alliteration and think it has some value in creating a sense of cadence and rhythm and what have you.

      Who am I to say though, I’m the queen of redundancy and bullshit!? Ha. Really, I’m not very clever with iambic pentameters and abba couplets and what have yous. I do like to nibble (accidentally wrote nipple at first) and dip a little into it though.

      Eh, I joke more than anything. And I love George Carlin and Calvin and Hobbes so I said to myself, “what does this kid have to say?” Hehehe.


      • Spider42 said

        Hey, Carlin and Calvin are both geniuses far ahead of and beyond their time that are not given anywhere near the kind of credit they deserve!
        And I don’t say it’s a hard and fast rule or anything, I just think some effort at flow, some rhyme and some amount of rhythm is essential for it to be a poem vs a literary piece in stanza form.

        • PAZ said

          Spider, I like me a rhyme or two.
          No, really I do!

          Again, you do have a solid point. I agree that flow and rhythm are essential to poetry, ok and rhyme too–but only to an extent and not as much as flow and rhythm and of course meaning.

          The way I see it, poetry should ultimately be read aloud and heard for the beauty of its rhythm and flow. Like you say, it distinguishes it from prose. However, I don’t think rhyming in structured patterns is essential to that flow. It’s like editing video. You need to pace the scene, but it’s not always going to pace at the same speed. Action scenes generally need to be paced quicker with shorter cuts (especially nowadays with all the CG hoopla)!

          Freeform can be like jazz where traditional rhyme is classical music. Anyway, I’m just rambling now. I’m glad we had this little conversation though! You’re a clever fella.

          Yes to Carlin and yes to Calvin!

          • Spider42 said

            Many thanks for the compliments, I think on that agreeable note we can say we’re on the same page and call this conversation concluded! 🙂
            look forward to your next poetic posting.

  4. it’s really good, and i like how everything just fits. and with how simple it is. 😀

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