NaPoWriMo Dias 13 y 14: Two-Part Poem in Spanglish

April 21, 2012

un-birth me mamita linda.
no te quiero ver!

uncover me papito lindo,
pero no, no te quiero ver!

lo que ocurrió es que
el viento me
robó las alas
y borró
el polvo mágico
que me regalaron
las hadas.

sí, las que cantaban
dentro de mi, pero no las quiero ver!


i was spleen-size
sucked out, cut clean from
below your womb,
a piggish wad of pink,
red, purple and blue goo–
grey sack you could’ve
thrown out.

seís meses, they said.
young men in white robes
out of universidades.
they probed and probed
and probed you,
they, youthful men
as fruitful as you
but not as torn.

“six months and her heart
will stop.”
too big for her fragile
they said and laid me–
tiny bag of broken bones–
to rest.

un-birth me mamita linda.
no te quiero ver!

unearth me amor viejo, arrugado,
listo para fallecer
como yo lo he hestado.

oh yes, i remember
the story clearly,
remember it dearly.
how many times
hadn’t i heard it?
you’d resigned
dear papi,

already grieved
my death
with swigs
and nightly sighs,
“mija, déjala,
que yo la cuido
venga duerma.
de un modo o otro
uno de estos dias
se nos irá.”

you never gave up
i guess
that’s love;
that’s hope
mamita linda
and i didn’t go.

but you know,
it’s difficult
to cope.
this heart is still
too crammed in this
barrel chest and one
day, someday
it will stop.

for my dear mother who endured all the poking, the prodding and was somehow able to birth me without a cesarean, and for Sailor Carrie

© Paz


[my lazy translation; some things will always be lost in translation]

un-birth me dear mommy.
i don’t want to look at you!

uncover me dear daddy.
but i don’t want to look at you!

what’s happened is,
the wind
snatched my wings
and erased
my magic powder,
yeah the one
the fairies
gave me.

yes, the ones that
sang within me,
but i don’t want to look at them!

six months, they said…

blah blah blah…

unearth me old love, crumbled
and haggard, ready for death
like I’ve been.

student doctors prodding you…


…hadn’t i heard it?
“honey, leave her,
i’ll take care of her
go on, go on
on day or another
she’ll be gone.”


Guys, I was lucky enough to have lived past the six month mark those doctors gave me and have survived thus far (which sometimes still surprises me considering the crazies I get), but unfortunately, a fellow mental health blogger’s little girl did not; she passed during childbirth.  I can’t fathom what that must be like.

His blog is Salted Lithium. Maybe you can pay a visit and show some love. I’m sure he could use it.

10 Responses to “NaPoWriMo Dias 13 y 14: Two-Part Poem in Spanglish”

  1. sonofwalt said

    This is beautiful, as is the loving words of sending friends to your friend. I will give her a visit. Thank you.

    • PAZ said

      Please do! He’s having a difficult time. He’s also a good writer, so you might stick around. 🙂

      And thanks so, so much for reading and liking and enjoying or whatnot!

  2. Well crafted and insightful

  3. It’s quite a sad poem but I LOVE it. I love the mix of both languages and the imagery and even though it is quite dark, there is some positivity there. I think this is my favourite yet 🙂 You’re so talented!!

    • PAZ said

      Thanks so much Sailor!

      I think all that’s happened lately filled my creative juice container. It always happens that way, but then i run dry for a while. The more you practice though, the better you get at it? It’s true i suppose.

      I stayed up last night thinking of things to write about, all i got was bits and pieces, all of which i hate now. ha. And this morning I woke up with a short poem in my head. It’s about SH. Maybe I got it in my head because we’d just talked about it.

      I just edited it a little, the last conversation part wasn’t right. Tell me what you think?

      This one means a lot to me now. heh. I told my mom I’d written a poem about her for Mother’s Day, but on second thought, I don’t want her to read it since it has a bit of an angry (though loving) tone at parts, with the whole “I don’t wanna look at you” bit.

      It’s a good thing she didn’t ask about it later; she’s not sentimental in that way, maybe in other ways but not in that way. My dad always kept the letter I wrote him when I was little and she’d read them and throw them out “too much clutter she said”. Oh no, now I’m making her look bad. :/

      And when the hell is Mother’s Day anyway? lol

      • I think you should save the bits and pieces and go back to them. Even if you hate them now, you might think differently after you’ve had a break from them!
        I still love it, I think it’s amazing, it is so thought provoking, it really is amazing and I’m not bullshitting!!!!!
        Love HS xox

        • PAZ said

          I saved the bits and pieces I told you I woke up with and wrote it out today–the SH one. It’s actually one I’m really proud of now. heheh.

          And thanks again.

          Love xoxoxxx

  4. Reblogged this on Hello Sailor and commented:
    I’m having a re-blogging weekend…… There are so many amazing things going on I want to share. I love this poem!! You’re awesome Paz xoxox

    • PAZ said

      Jeezus lady. 🙂 You made my day. again, gracias for the thought! 🙂

      You know, I just realized this one may resonate with you in particular so I’ll dedicate it to you. 😉

      love xoxoxxx

      • Hehe I wanted to share the amazing-ness. It does resonate a lot, but that’t not why I love it, I just think it’s amazing and clever!! I’ll shut up now 🙂
        But AWWWWWWWWWWWWW no one has ever dedicated a poem to me and that is the coolest thing EVER!!!
        Love HS xox 😀

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