Borderline Girl Song Week Two: Joy Division “She’s Lost Control”

May 22, 2012

In commemoration of Monkey Man L. today, I selected Joy Division. He was a huge fan of Joy Division. And I think if he heard this song today, it would remind him of me. ha!

Here’s some irony for you, actually, it’s just more of my contradictions. There’s a part in the lyrics that go like this:

And she’s clinging to the nearest passer by,
She’s lost control.
And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I’ve lost control again…

So in my previous post “Grieving and the Mentals”, I just mentioned my trouble with expressing my troubles and emotions. I have an extremely difficult time reaching out to people–friends, family, etc.

But OUT OF NOWHERE, I’ll grab someone (the “nearest passerby”) I barely know and spill my guts to them. I’ve found a pattern in this behavior; I tend to do it to men I’m getting to know, flirting with, etc. And I think it has something to do with making them think, “Holy shit, this one’s a mess. I better go”. Maybe I do that so they can leave before I can get attached. OR, in reverse, I may subconsciously think, “Well, this person doesn’t matter to me, so it’s ok if they know my messy secrets since I’ll probably never see them again anyway and their judgement won’t leave a sting and if they do stick around then they’ll matter after all”. Sometimes we find it easier to talk to strangers. Makes sense doesn’t it?

Click on the “Read the rest of this entry” button to see Lyrics to She’s Lost Control :


Confusion in her eyes that says it all.
She’s lost control.
And she’s clinging to the nearest passer by,
She’s lost control.
And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I’ve lost control again,
And a voice that told her when and where to act,
She said I’ve lost control again.

And she turned around and took me by the hand and said,
I’ve lost control again.
And how I’ll never know just why or understand,
She said I’ve lost control again.
And she screamed out kicking on her side and said,
I’ve lost control again.
And seized up on the floor, I thought she’d die.
She said I’ve lost control.
She’s lost control again.
She’s lost control.
She’s lost control again.
She’s lost control.

Well I had to ‘phone her friend to state my case,
And say she’s lost control again.
And she showed up all the errors and mistakes,
And said I’ve lost control again.
But she expressed herself in many different ways,
Until she lost control again.
And walked upon the edge of no escape,
And laughed I’ve lost control.
She’s lost control again.
She’s lost control.
She’s lost control again.
She’s lost control.

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7 Responses to “Borderline Girl Song Week Two: Joy Division “She’s Lost Control””

  1. Millie Ho said

    Wow. This inspired me to write a story about a borderline.

    In other news, wouldn’t it be interesting if this Madonna song was about the same disorder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHDbv7ZPCE0

  2. Millie Ho said

    *borderline girl.

  3. the howler and me said

    I always tell my “new friends” stories about the dark sides of myself… I always start off by being a sarcastic bitch – its a way of weeding out those that cannot “handle” me.

    I am a snarky sarcastic bitch, and I can be a bit moody and psychotic at times…. I figure its a great way to warn people that I am not your typical chick….

    I have actually gotten some pretty great friends this way….. Does it make sense? No, but hey to each their own.

    • PAZ said

      It makes sense to me THAM, though some may say that’s far too agressive. hehe. I do the same, though it depends on my mood. Usually, I can sniff out another sensitive heart and that’s who I’ll test. hehe. I don’t do it consciously though. It’s only after the fact that I realize “I’ve done it again”.

      Hmmm, “weeding out,” I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. I likes.

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