Whiskers and Lashes

June 26, 2012

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I thought about writing another one of my Good Lists today (I swam 14 laps today), but I found the slideshow option instead! So… here’s little Luna, yet again! (I know. I know. But she looks so calm, quiet, assertive and pensive in these.)

I’m also too tired to actually write any of the ideas that keep milling around my head. If I could just catch one and sit down with it!

Hypomania has been knocking on my door even though I put the Pretty Little Demons (PLD’s) to bed on Friday. Many of them slept all night and all through the weekend. Most of them behaved all weekend, which is incredible; it was the most stable weekend I’ve had in… I don’t know, but it was nice!

And today I want to live! hahah. Isn’t that great?!

Fuckin’ A. It’s amazing! Yes, it’s amazing to want to live! It’s amazing to not have urges to kill yourself creep up and tear at you every ten minutes.

Better knock on wood now.

********

Then today, for the third time in the last two weeks, my dad tells me that I am a different person: “You’re still P, but you’re a different person. You’re more understanding, not as angry, more affectionate…” and he went on.

Hmmm? I think that means therapy had been helping, no? The meds? (meh) Oh, the swimming!?

I have many thoughts on this but I’ll leave it there for now.

********

Oh, speaking of therapy, yesterday was my first day back in therapy at the university, but I didn’t even get to have a session.

I had planned  a trip with the MetroLift and the MetroLift mini-bus was late (yet again), only this time it was hella late. I had scheduled my appointment with the New NEW therapist at 7:00 in the evening because she will be at a seminar deal all of this week and, in an effort to get together ASAP, I’d settled for seven on Monday. Well, MetroLift got me there at 7:45 instead. I only had time to meet her and reschedule.

I had gotten myself so pumped, I mean mentally pumped for that session and it all crumbled like burning paper in my hands.

I may write about it if I get the time tomorrow or sometime this week, but I don’t know. I’ll see. One of the reasons I want to is because there are some DBT skills I want to share in regards to that ordeal–basically, I want to share how I kept myself relatively cool, or in other words, how I kept myself from falling completely apart again. It involves little Luna, her little whiskers and swimming.

********

I do have a Borderline Girl Song post I wrote last week but was too embarrassed to publish it. Shit, I better post it now since I mentioned it.

It’s about a fella named Dusty.

*photos are © 2012 PAZ/MMM*

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9 Responses to “Whiskers and Lashes”

  1. the howler and me said

    how incredibly frustrating is that… get all the way there and gotta turn around and head home… the people that run that service should be ashamed of themselves!

    • PAZ said

      Ugh… It was beyond frustrating THAM. It took all the resources and willpower for me not to kick a trash can and scream and then tare at my skin. The mini-bus was supposed to pick me up at 5:30. It got there at 6:20 and I was there 15 minutes to 8. Yeah, not only are they late, it takes a long time. It’s a city/public transport service and as I’ve mentioned before, Houston has a shitty public transportation system because the city’s culture is all pick-up trucks and big ole SUVS driving on highway webs.

      • the howler and me said

        ugh that is so fucking stupid.
        I mean, where I am we have city buses and dial a ride… (not sure how either of them are especially dial a ride….)

        I wish we had a rail system…. I would love to leave my car at home… jump on a train and head the 10 miles to work… I am a dirty hippie… I am all for not using my car if I had a choice.

        • PAZ said

          I’m a dirty hippie too! *high five* It’s one reason why me and my bro used to fight a lot in the last years–he’s not very conscious of his impact on the environment. He rides a beat-up BMW–beat up from all the wrecks, he only drinks ONLY bottled water, uses up 4-5 paper towels just to clean his hands, and the list goes on… I’m just too “Earthy” (I don’t know what that means), but we all have our quirks. I waste a lot of toilet paper, lol, so there’s my downside.

          As far a Houston… fuckin sucks. This is supposedly the 4rth largest city and the city is BARELY starting to build a light rail system. We have one one right now. I would’ve been better off taking the regular bus that day but I wasn’t up for an hour and a half bus ride with people coming back from work.

          Oh well, I hope I learn how to maneuver these appointments better.

          HUGS
          xo

  2. Dorothy said

    love your slideshow, is Luna a Pom or a mini Eskie? …that sucks about the transport service too 😦

    • PAZ said

      Thank you Dorothy! Yeah, Luna is a two year old pomeranian. She’s all white with streaks of tan so she does look like a mini Eskie. She’s the sweetest dog I’ve ever owned and I’ve owned five.

  3. Dorothy said

    I’m also awarding you the Sunshine Award and you may pick it up at my blog if you so desire. I hope you do as I enjoy your blog. Thanks.
    Dot

    • PAZ said

      I’m so flattered! THANKS! It makes writing this so much more worthwhile when I get comments saying that someone enjoys reading my rambles. 🙂
      xo

  4. […] as I mentioned in Whiskers and Lashes, I’ve had a ton of cartooning ideas milling around my head but the Mouse hasn’t been […]

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