Money Money Money

July 21, 2012

My dad has been having trouble paying the rent. And our internet is going to get cut off today. Programming will be suspended until further notice!

I’m still trying to get that job back with the help of Mansie. (It would be contract work kind of hush hush for now since I’m still undocumented.) Let’s hope this immigration thing works out so I can work.

But I’m afraid that if I’m ever actually legally able to work, my mind-fuckery will ruin it and I’ll self sabotage again. And I won’t be able to handle it.

I’m trying to be like The Little Engine that Could. Any of yall seen it?

Mouse love xoxo

29 Responses to “Money Money Money”

  1. clownonfire said

    I’m so very sorry. Financial issues are quite the stressors. I’m wishing you and your family solace during these harder times. I hope things will get better soon.
    Le Clown

    • PAZ said

      Le Clown
      Thank you!

      They are quite the stressors. My dad’s been a grumpy old man lately, but I can’t blame him. He’s 70 and shouldn’t be having to take care of me financially. 😦

      On the plus side, we got internet again! Gaaah. I was having withdrawals. lol.

      Warm hugs,
      Le Paz

  2. saradraws said

    Dammit. You’ll be missed. As for the job thingy, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!
    Bit of a double edged sword, that one. Wishing you and your family all the best xo

    • PAZ said

      Thanks lovely Sara. Aaah, the job thing is crayzay! I’m back in therapy though so that might help. I’ve never held a salary job, always worked for my dad (occasionally) or freelanced a little here and there and that’s not saying much. I can’t work legally ’cause of the immigration situation, yet most of my peers who are in the same boat are working (you know under the table) and I feel like even if I can, I wouldn’t be able to handle it due to my instability.

      Definitely a double edge sword as you say. But you’re handling your new job right now right? Working from home?


      • saradraws said

        I’ve been working from home since 2010 (I got laid off while on mat leave and they renamed my position and gave it to someone else, the douche hats). And it’s been great in many ways. If I have a bad day or week, I have the flexibility to take care of myself. I still got the work done, but without the added stressors of having to leave the house. It’s kind of ideal for people dealing with any illness, disability, or any other impediments to a “9 to 5” JOB type job. BUT, it’s not always stable, and you have to be pretty disciplined (i.e. save money to pay taxes that would otherwise just come off your paycheque). I’m not always discipline or organized, but I do ok. Currently, I’m out of work, but feeling well enough to find more. Fingers crossed for both of us!

        • PAZ said

          Booo on the douche hats! The flexibility in freelancing is what’s wonderful. But the discipline you need to go out constantly and look and not have a steady income is hard. I know from my dad’s experience. He still runs his small photography business from home. I know havinga studio location would make it better. I like leaving the house though, especially I’m feeling good. But when I’m depressed, I don’t want to leave and yet I know I should. I have no car and no means of transportation. The bus system here sucks since it’s a car-culture city. Bleugh… There are a lot of perks, fo’ sho’. Glad you’re doing ok despite the lack of discipline. Fingers crossed!

  3. I hope it works out for the best. I will miss you if you loose your INS today.

  4. I’m sorry to hear this, Paz. Man, I’ll be glad when America is back to where it used to be. This suks.

    • PAZ said

      Thanks lovely lady. You know I went to a protest yesterday, about 400 people from all over Houston. It was in regard to jobs and the minimum wage. Also, it was about the latin and black cleaning/janitor ladies who work at downtown only for 7.30 and hour, get no overtime, etc.

      We got the internet back! Man, nowadays we’re so hooked. hehe

      Love xoxoxxx

  5. Kyle said

    no paz, please don’t go, find a way and come back soon, please

  6. Ruby Tuesday said

    I’ve read the book many a time. I’m crossing my fingers that all goes well for you, and that you won’t be gone long.

    Love ~

  7. Love you P. I’ll be thinking of you until you get back!! xoxoxox

  8. Amanda said

    No Paz?


  9. 😦 Boo to the suspended programming. *hugs*

    • PAZ said

      Programming will commence shortly (though maybe more sparingly for a while).

      🙂 Either way I’m back. Miss you all lots and it was only 5 days hehe.

      hugs xoxoxxx

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