Borderline Girl Song Week 8: The Cranberries “Ridiculous Thoughts”

August 1, 2012

Went to therapy today. The bus ride wasn’t as “fun” as the one last week, though the Houston heat today was much less piercing and much more enjoyable. I was reminded of how many stories I have from years of riding the bus. The people I encounter, I just want to write about them. So many people. I want to write about people.

Yep.

As far as the actual session. I feel it wasn’t as productive as last week and a part of me wants to quit already, but I know that the thought of quitting therapy is a bit ridiculous since it’s one of my biggest life lines right now. And my homework assignment? Write down negative thoughts that cause intense, negative emotions tand challenge those with cognitive behavioral methods of cognitive restructuring. I’ll explain later.

For now, enjoy some of my ridiculous thoughts. I had some of these on my bus journey to the university campus. Some I had when I woke up from my nap. We all have them, some of us just believe them. I’m one of those.

********

That black albino girl looks like she came out of the Fifth Element. Why is she still staring? Oh, kids, they stare. She’s kinda cute and very albino, like the dude from the Da Vinci Code. Book was better. Ugh, kids stare because you’re so tiny, it’s just a fact of life. It’s better than ADULTS staring with that OH HOLY GOD WHAT IS THAT, look. Let me just wave my hand and smile–show her I acknowledged her little cute staring. Ooh, hey there, works every time!

Is the whole world fucked or what? That fucker honking at us! Good going albino girl’s mom. Tell him off! Shit, but calm down lady. Don’t go off that hard.

Swimming is only going to make you go deaf quicker. Why do you think your ears are itchy all the time? Swimmer’s ear? Yeah, and that’s just your ear’s nerve cell’s dying P.

Monkey Man needed you and you failed him.

You need a gun. No, a gun wouldn’t work for you. Shit, all those new shiny pills might.

You’re such a bitch. Let go of that thought.

Ugh, don’t use that word in the negative sense! Luna is a little bitch and she’s awesome.

They think you’re an asshole. Why else would you get so many views after writing that last post? So many hushed readers, no bitch? You worthless piece of…

But he saved three dogs from an abandoned warehouse several months ago. Yeah, and now he wants to cheat on his wife. And you’re his object of desire. What does that make you?

You won’t be able to go another day without texting him something sexual.

Lamotrigine is only going to make your hearing loss and tinnitus worse.

Can I just have a roomful of people I can punch? Matter fact, make it a room full of babies!

Your therapist is plotting to kill you, just like your psychiatrist is. Don’t believe them.

This feeling is unbearable. Tear your skin off instead. It’ll feel good.

Oh no, no no. That interview with the reporter is going to suck tomorrow. You’ll say something stupid, I’m sure.

You want to do something with all those new shiny pills don’t you? You think you can’t handle this? Ha!

Oh no! Now that you’ve shared this, the bloggie people will be able to read your mind!

********

Alright, I’ll stop there. Yes, I was a Cranberries fan in my younger days. Enjoy!

Oh look, it’s young Frodo–I mean, little Elijah Wood. God, I feel like I’m reliving some of my childhood in these songs…

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7 Responses to “Borderline Girl Song Week 8: The Cranberries “Ridiculous Thoughts””

  1. Millie Ho said

    My interpretation of the song has completely changed now. Thank you for that! 🙂

  2. the howler and me said

    Girl, I tell ya – it is hard to shut out those negative thoughts… and NOT believing them is harder…. but you can do it.

    • PAZ said

      Thank you lovely THAM! Ain’t it? Especially for those of us on the highly neurotic side of the neurotic scale.

      I can! Blueh, even as I’m thinking I can’t this very moment.

      Gotta email back soon! So much to tell…
      xoxoxxx

  3. Thanks for letting us inside your hamster wheel of obsessive thoughts. We all have them; you’re just brave enough to share yours. And you make mine look boring.

  4. I like that stream of consciousness style. It’s funny the thoughts we have when we’re just truckin’ along!

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