November 26, 2012

An oldie but goodie!

Liking Her More and More

November 21, 2012

I was a metal-head and a punk, but my appreciation for music goes far beyond that. I was a musician. I guess I should use that in the present tense–I AM a musician. But I have trouble accepting that, always have.

I’m now faced with declined hearing due to the OI. I’m starting to wear my hearing aide more often (I have two but one needs adjustment), particularly when I sing and want to enjoy undertones in music. Going deaf is one of my biggest fears. I often think that I’ll definitely kill myself if that ever happens.

But lately, I’ve been calmer, more generally content–not happy, just content. I don’t like the word happy. My contentment, however, has reached back out to the warm embrace of music, the one thing that has saved my life before.

I picked up my ukulele a few months ago when I was in the dark and the PLDs had moved in again. And though I haven’t played recently, I still plan to play it and eventually maybe write songs again. Most of my songs start off as poems anyway, so maybe (just maybe) I could adapt some of my NaPoWriMo poems as uke songs.

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Oh right, Lana! So on my Borderline Girl Song Week Thirteen post, I posted a Lana Del Rey Song. Her real name is Lizzy Grant. In that post, I called her pretentious but good. I suppose though, that pretentious is just a label given to any musician that takes their music seriously. So I will back away from that word. I’ve been listening to her more and more. Surprisingly, despite my minuscule stature, I sing better in her register, or rather, women who sing in lower, contralto registers like two of my favorites–Amy Winehouse and Fiona Apple.

I’m liking her more and more. I want to sing again and shout out loud. But I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll fail. Afraid I’ll quit like I have before. I can’t let the fear of my hearing loss take control of my actions though.

Here she is singing live. Oh, yeah, and it turns out she CAN sing very well live. It just depends.

Wings for Angel

October 10, 2012

TA DA!

Happy birthday Angel!

Yeah, these are ruffled wings for you. They’re supposed to be “dark” wings and a little abstract. I’m not sure I pulled it off how I wanted. I was listening to one of my favorite bands so I think the music influenced the result. Also, I’d just read one of your posts earlier today. I think I’m floating naked and farting out my signature while I present these wings to you!

xoxoxxx

******

p.s. Please excuse the messiness.

Sailor’s Art

September 10, 2012

Go over to Sailor’s Folksy store! GO OVER NOW! The mermaid is me by the way. 😉

Le Clown’s Contest

August 29, 2012

Bloggies! So there’s this Le Clown dude who thinks he’s a demi-god or some shit. He has a contest going on RIGHT NOW. Please go to Le Clown’s blog (linked here and in the Canvas  post) and write “like” under the comments section where Ruby has commented. Canvas, contestant # 3, could use more eyeballs. And it’s not just because I’m a writer there and secretly collect eyeballs. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT collect nut sacks nor balls of any other kind (except maybe a few therapy squish balls for relaxation). And I do NOT have any kind of obsession with hairy old balls either. Also, Le Clown’s over-inflated ego must be bigger than any ball in existence, including his own. Yeah, he also has one ab, apparently. It’s nothing to brag about. It doesn’t even compare to one of my six abs ’cause I be swimmin’ like a champ!

Le Police de Texas

August 11, 2012

Here’s to trying to get involved again. Trying. Just trying. (More like just going along for the ride Mansie gave me so I could get out and see people I once knew.)

Meh. This can be added as an attempt in a part of my “Goals for Therapy,” if you remember.

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I took this photo at the protest I went to, two–or was it three–weeks ago? It was to raise the downtown office janitors’ wages which is terrible in Houston. There were other issues involved in the protest (think 99% and 1% Wall Street), but the main issue here was the janitors, which are mainly Latino immigrants. Many organizations and such were involved. It was my first protest in over a year, and I met a beautiful tattooed Brazilian girl that day.

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There were four cops on horses in every street corner. There were also many arrests. Wish I wouldn’t ‘a shopped off the beautiful horses’ feet though. And who knew cop cars, horses and a couple hundred protesters could make so much ear-bleeding noise! I wanted to chop my bloody ears off, Van Gogh style.


Taken with my crappy Nokia camera phone. (Yeah, I forgot my awesome Nikon that day! Fuckin’ anxiety.)

July 25, 2012

You guys!

I’m back. Wasn’t gone too long was I?

Oh, and I have a wonderful suggestion. Go over to this lovely blog–A Circus at the End of the World. Go over now! So get yourself another cup of coffee or a shot of tequila (or whatever it is you drink) and take a break from pretending to work and read to vote for the next installment.

Trust me, you’ll love it if you love zaniness and braininess. Even the Mouse is impressed, and the Mouse is a much tougher critic than Paz. Or is it Paz that’s tougher? I get them mixed up sometimes.

Anyway, you get to vote on characters and plot direction, make suggestions, etc. It’s interactive storytelling, Angel Fractured’s newest project. And she used  my character suggestion! Love that you added a painful and ironic religious tinge to her back story, Angel.  😉

Money Money Money

July 21, 2012

My dad has been having trouble paying the rent. And our internet is going to get cut off today. Programming will be suspended until further notice!

I’m still trying to get that job back with the help of Mansie. (It would be contract work kind of hush hush for now since I’m still undocumented.) Let’s hope this immigration thing works out so I can work.

But I’m afraid that if I’m ever actually legally able to work, my mind-fuckery will ruin it and I’ll self sabotage again. And I won’t be able to handle it.

I’m trying to be like The Little Engine that Could. Any of yall seen it?

Mouse love xoxo