November 21, 2012
I was a metal-head and a punk, but my appreciation for music goes far beyond that. I was a musician. I guess I should use that in the present tense–I AM a musician. But I have trouble accepting that, always have.
I’m now faced with declined hearing due to the OI. I’m starting to wear my hearing aide more often (I have two but one needs adjustment), particularly when I sing and want to enjoy undertones in music. Going deaf is one of my biggest fears. I often think that I’ll definitely kill myself if that ever happens.
But lately, I’ve been calmer, more generally content–not happy, just content. I don’t like the word happy. My contentment, however, has reached back out to the warm embrace of music, the one thing that has saved my life before.
I picked up my ukulele a few months ago when I was in the dark and the PLDs had moved in again. And though I haven’t played recently, I still plan to play it and eventually maybe write songs again. Most of my songs start off as poems anyway, so maybe (just maybe) I could adapt some of my NaPoWriMo poems as uke songs.
Oh right, Lana! So on my Borderline Girl Song Week Thirteen post, I posted a Lana Del Rey Song. Her real name is Lizzy Grant. In that post, I called her pretentious but good. I suppose though, that pretentious is just a label given to any musician that takes their music seriously. So I will back away from that word. I’ve been listening to her more and more. Surprisingly, despite my minuscule stature, I sing better in her register, or rather, women who sing in lower, contralto registers like two of my favorites–Amy Winehouse and Fiona Apple.
I’m liking her more and more. I want to sing again and shout out loud. But I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll fail. Afraid I’ll quit like I have before. I can’t let the fear of my hearing loss take control of my actions though.
Here she is singing live. Oh, yeah, and it turns out she CAN sing very well live. It just depends.
October 10, 2012
Happy birthday Angel!
Yeah, these are ruffled wings for you. They’re supposed to be “dark” wings and a little abstract. I’m not sure I pulled it off how I wanted. I was listening to one of my favorite bands so I think the music influenced the result. Also, I’d just read one of your posts earlier today. I think I’m floating naked and farting out my signature while I present these wings to you!
p.s. Please excuse the messiness.
September 10, 2012
Go over to Sailor’s Folksy store! GO OVER NOW! The mermaid is me by the way. 😉
August 29, 2012
Bloggies! So there’s this Le Clown dude who thinks he’s a demi-god or some shit. He has a contest going on RIGHT NOW. Please go to Le Clown’s blog (linked here and in the Canvas post) and write “like” under the comments section where Ruby has commented. Canvas, contestant # 3, could use more eyeballs. And it’s not just because I’m a writer there and secretly collect eyeballs. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT collect nut sacks nor balls of any other kind (except maybe a few therapy squish balls for relaxation). And I do NOT have any kind of obsession with hairy old balls either. Also, Le Clown’s over-inflated ego must be bigger than any ball in existence, including his own. Yeah, he also has one ab, apparently. It’s nothing to brag about. It doesn’t even compare to one of my six abs ’cause I be swimmin’ like a champ!
I’m back. Wasn’t gone too long was I?
Oh, and I have a wonderful suggestion. Go over to this lovely blog–A Circus at the End of the World. Go over now! So get yourself another cup of coffee or a shot of tequila (or whatever it is you drink) and take a break from pretending to work and read to vote for the next installment.
Trust me, you’ll love it if you love zaniness and braininess. Even the Mouse is impressed, and the Mouse is a much tougher critic than Paz. Or is it Paz that’s tougher? I get them mixed up sometimes.
Anyway, you get to vote on characters and plot direction, make suggestions, etc. It’s interactive storytelling, Angel Fractured’s newest project. And she used my character suggestion! Love that you added a painful and ironic religious tinge to her back story, Angel. 😉
July 21, 2012
My dad has been having trouble paying the rent. And our internet is going to get cut off today. Programming will be suspended until further notice!
I’m still trying to get that job back with the help of Mansie. (It would be contract work kind of hush hush for now since I’m still undocumented.) Let’s hope this immigration thing works out so I can work.
But I’m afraid that if I’m ever actually legally able to work, my mind-fuckery will ruin it and I’ll self sabotage again. And I won’t be able to handle it.
I’m trying to be like The Little Engine that Could. Any of yall seen it?
Mouse love xoxo