I was invited to join a game of tag by Sailor and Angel. I thought I’d answer Angel’s questions.

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1) What is the one insect you absolutely can’t stand?

Cockroaches! I can’t stand roaches. I’m cockroach-a-phobic. I’ll tell you, one night when I was a kid, maybe nine or so, I felt something tickling my cheek. When I woke up, I saw two antennas wiggling over my eye. There was a HUGE roach on my face! I slapped that sucker off of me–a survival instinct I didn’t know I possessed. The ugly fucker flung out and started flying! Ugggh. To this day, I flinch if I feel something on my cheek or neck.

2) Which fictional world(s) do you wish were real?

I’m tempted to say “Middle Earth” from The Lord of the Rings, but I’m gonna go with one from a book I started reading a little over a year ago and had to put down when the stress of graduation loomed. It’s a planet called Winter and the most fascinating thing about it is that the humanoids living in it can choose and change their gender, so gender isn’t a big issue there. It’s from The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Leguin. It’s a very psychological sci-fi that Monkey Man L had recommended I read.

3) Who is your favorite President/Prime Minister/Monarch/Whoever Has Been in Charge of Your Country in history?

I don’t have one. I’m a bit of a cynic and a critic and a rebel. I do have a thing for FDR though. Besides, he battled polio and knows what it’s like being in a wheelchair. I also have a thing for Lincoln. And I like Jimmy Carter. I like that he didn’t run again to play the games.

4) If you were forced to be on a reality show, which one would you go on, and why?

I was actually asked to be on one in an email from YouTube, although I doubt its legitimacy. It was for a pilot on CBS about disabled “midgets,” no lie. haha. I obviously changed the wording, but that was the sum of the email. I didn’t reply, though for a second, I thought of asking more questions. Oh yeah, ummm, back when I was younger and actually watched MTV, I wanted to be on that show Road Rules, you know the one that came on after The Real World.

5) What is the one feature that your dream house must possess?

An Olympic-size pool! (or just any pool) And I’d definitely have to have an awesome office with lots of techie stuff for film editing and a theater room for film viewing. I think I want to live in a very urban area though. And I find I’m modest when it comes to certain things so I don’t dream of anything big really.

6) What is your guilty musical pleasure?

Gloria Trevi. She’s a former Mexican pop-rock icon from the late 1980s and early 1990s. Her music was controversial and politically charged. She had a four-year stint in prison after her ex-husband and music producer/manager was arrested on charges of currupting minors (mainly the molestation of several young girls). I don’t know what Trevi was formally charged with but her charges were dropped for lack of evidence in involvement. There’s some Spanish gossipy news National Enquirer-style for ya.

Anyway, this is a song from her early glory days. It’s about a wild, uncontrollable girl that is sent to see psychiatrist. In the song she basically tells the psychiatrist to fuck off: “I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy, I’m not crazy. I’m just desperate! Don’t tell me anymore idiotic lies; I just wanna live my own life… I won’t listen… And I won’t pay your bill… And quit looking! Quit looking! Quit looking at my legs! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I’m not crazy, I’m just desperate” and so on.

I mean it’s got synths!

Without further adieu, here’s the amazing Gloria Trevi performing “Dr. Psiquiatra”. Yes, my guilty musical pleasure (you got it out of me Angel!) and I’m out in the open about it now ok. OK!? I love this song… no, I love a lot of Trevi’s songs, and I’m no longer ashamed to admit it dammit!

I also find it hilarious that the crowd is so disparate!

7) What do you think is the most disgusting food?

Pork skins and pork intestines (we make them with rice in Colombia). After I became a vegetarian, I couldn’t stand the thought of eating them. But I think I’d rather eat that than roaches!

8) Do you smile with or without showing your teeth?

You can’t see my teeth when I smile, especially not after the second Bell’s Palsy hit. 😦

I don’t like to smile in photographs anymore. Ok. Ok. Maybe a faint smile. 😉

9) Do you believe that there are aliens in the universe?

If I remember correctly from class, there are roughly 100 billion stars in our galaxy. If one-third of them are Sun-like, and 1/100th of those house inhabitable planets, I don’t see why not. I mean that’s just in OUR galaxy. If we account for the rest, which is infinite, then yes, I definitely think that, if not within our own galaxy, then surely some other galaxy contains life–hell maybe even non-carbon based life!

10) Choose your own adventure books–yay or nay?

Yay!

(Guess what gave me my wonderful idea.)

11) What is the funniest thing that has happened to you today?

Nothing interesting has happened today, but yesterday morning I went swimming at the gym and something very scary and somewhat funny happened with my tampon. Also, I met my brother’s girlfriend’s family. We were out in the backyard and they’d gone swimming but I didn’t know so I didn’t have a bathing suite on me. I just sate soaking my feet and got tore up by mosquitoes. I told my brother and he asked for bug spray. Well, my brother decided to spray down his girlfriend with bug spray (though I was the only one getting bit). The entire cloud of that venomous gas wafted my way and nearly killed me since I had nowhere to run and my wheelchair was out of reach. True story.

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As in the previous set, I’m going to have to opt out of tagging anyone (dealing with too much anxiety and jaw pain). But I am going to ask anyone who wants to answer a question:

Do you think it’s too late to contact that reporter lady from the Houston Chronicle? (See addendum of previous post)

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I was invited to a game of tag by Sailor and Angel. I thought I’d answer Sailor’s questions today.

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1. Do you think you could survive a zombie apocalypse and if so what would be your weapon of choice?

This is a difficult question Sailor. I had a long discussion with my brother about this not too long ago and here’s what I came up with: On one hand, I’m in a wheelchair, so I can’t run even if my life depended on it. I might get a few yards in but then my legs would break due to my brittle bones condition, I’d thus fall and the zombies would have me prey. I’m only three feet and two inches tall, so I can’t hold really big guns unless I strap them onto my wheelchair or rig it up with weapons. I could also be strapped to a person’s back, but that may slow them down making us both soon-to-be-dead-meat. Taking those things into consideration, I have a slim chance of survival.

BUT, then on the other hand, I’m so small that I might be able to slip into little, crammed areas where zombies won’t reach me (unless I run into a zombie that’s dwarf-size like me or a baby zombie). While the zombies are looking straight ahead, I could slip under them unless there are a few crawling. I’m also quick and agile, so I might be able to train with knifes and fight off the zombies that way. Also, if I’m caught in an attack near a pool or a lake or some large body of water, I can most definitely get away. My endurance in the water is incredible, so I’d be able to swim to a small island somewhere–granted I’d have to make it to the ocean first.

In short, I probably have a 30% chance of survival, which isn’t too great. I’d be one hell of a zombie though. I’d be killer with my surprise and sneak attacks.

Zombie P, pen and ink. The tail must’ve fallen off. © Paz/mmm

2. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Cheese! I can eat different kinds of cheese, right?

3. Do you think Noah had woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Realmente no se. Tendría que abrir mi Biblia.

4. If space flight was affordable, would you go, just because you could?

I’ve always been fascinated with the universe and I love astronomy, so I most definitely would.

5. Would you very kindly draw me a picture of a bird and post it on your blog so I can add to my collection?

I’d love to! But I just spent too much time on the zombie-mouse which ended up funky looking, and then I realized it’s getting late here and I haven’t ate dinner. So here’s a picture of a bird I drew when I was in Florida back in January. Please ignore the random kids floating around the bird; they’re just doodles from my sketchbook but it’s all for you! (I’ll conjure up another bird eventually)

Bird for Sailor Carrie. © Paz


6. Do you think unicorns exist?

Only on other planets.

7. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Were there razors in the jungle?

I thought Tarzan did have a beard. You got the Mouse very disappointed and confused Sailor. She’s banging at my skull now.

8. How old do you think you would be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Well, I’m the size of a five-year old, height-wise, but I’m definitely not a five-year old. So, I’ll go with ten, just ’cause I like even numbers and that’s the age my grandma kept saying she was when she had a stroke and started with the dementia.

9. Will you be joining me on my boat when I win the lottery? 

Hells yeah! I’d love to ride the MFF cruiser. But then you might loose me when I jump in to join the dolphins.

10. What makes you, you? 

There’s a house full of PLDs and a mouse living in my head.

11. Did you like my questions? Claro que si, mi querida marinera!

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I’m not going to tag anyone at the moment. But I will add that I made a Facebook page about two weeks ago. Feel free to check it out (or not).

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addendum: I hate Facebook! And I’m having terrible anxiety today. 😦 I remembered about a call I got two weeks ago from a reporter at the Houston Chronicle. It’s about the DREAM Act and deferred action. I told her I was down for an interview. But then my phone got funny and I wasn’t receiving texts for a week. I just got an old message she left me today. I don’t know what to do… I mean, the last interview was nerve wrecking. I wrote about it here: Interviews and Anxiety, a Retort.